Practising with Fear: Moving Toward Non-Fear

This sharing is offered in two forms: as a short video above, and as a written piece below. Please choose whichever format resonates most with you.

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When we take the time to stop and become aware of what is happening in our body and mind, we can often see how fear is present. It may show up as fear-based thinking — worrying about the future, regretting the past. It can appear in seemingly small things:

“Did I lock the door when I left the house?” “Will someone break in and take my things?”

“If I share what I’m thinking, and allow myself to be seen by others, what will people think of me?” “Will I still belong to my tribe?”

We all have fear within us, and very often it is driving our thinking. In a circular way, that thinking then strengthens the fear, which in turn drives more fear-based thinking — and that cycle continues. What also feeds the fear in us are the sense impressions we take in through our other sense doors, most obviously our eyes and ears — the kinds of conversations we have, the programmes we watch on television, the news we read or listen to. All of these can water the seed of fear in our consciousness and make it stronger.

We may notice fear as it arises in the body — perhaps a tightness in the chest, a fluttering, or butterflies in the stomach. Or we may notice it in the mind, as worries, anxieties, and repetitive thoughts that push us to act. Fear is an emotion; an e-motion is an energy that wants to move us. It wants us to do something.

At that point, it can feel urgent — important that we act straightaway. Fear is supposed to feel unpleasant; it is how our system was designed. For our ancestors, fear was essential for survival. They had to act quickly to avoid becoming lunch for a lion on the Serengeti. There was natural selection that ensured that those who responded quickly to fear were most likely to survive and pass on their genes.

There is also what we might call original fear — the fear we encountered when we were first born: powerless, vulnerable, our lives, our survival, entirely dependent on others.

While there are still many places in the world where survival is a daily concern, for many of us today our daily conditions are relatively safe. And yet, it can still be very hard to relax and truly feel safe.

So fear is natural; it drives our thinking, and this in turn pushes us to act. The real question is not always whether to act or not, and not even what specific action to take. When we are not facing imminent danger, the more important question is: what is driving the thoughts that drive that action?

If we act from fear, then fear will be part of the action — and we can be sure that fear will be part of the result.

Strong emotions cloud our judgement and make it difficult to see clearly. The analogy I often use is that of a car windscreen. Many of us have had the experience of returning to the car to find the windscreen fogged up. We sit down, realise we can’t see clearly, and turn on the demister. If we are wise, calm, and patient, we wait until the windscreen clears before starting our journey.

I have to admit that there have been many occasions when I didn’t wait long enough. I was in a hurry, running late, and only a small patch of the windscreen had cleared. I found myself peering through that tiny clear space as I started driving. It’s unwise — and dangerous, for ourselves and for others. I can say that this happens less and less now. I’m able to wait longer, allowing more of the windscreen to clear, though I still don’t always wait for it to clear completely.

This image maps very closely to what happens when strong emotions are present — and emotions don’t come much stronger than fear. There is real wisdom in recognising that, in that moment, we cannot see clearly, and in taking the kind of action that allows our vision to clear. When things have settled, the road ahead becomes visible, and we know which direction to take.

Taking a little time to calm down can change everything. It doesn’t have to take very long. We may even take exactly the same action as before, but now that action carries wisdom, clarity, and peace — and the outcome is very different.

Fear is not something we need to see as the enemy, something that we need to get rid of. The seed of fear is present in all of us, and it is important that we learn to recognise when it is active in our mind. There are two real benefits to doing this.

The first is that when we recognise fear — even subtly — and acknowledge, “Right now, fear is present in me,” we have the opportunity to take care of it. We can allow it to settle back down into the deeper levels of our consciousness, so that we can see more clearly what action is wise to take, and trust that this action has a much greater chance of leading to a beneficial outcome.

The second benefit is even more helpful. When we recognise fear and, instead of acting immediately, turn towards it and embrace it with our awareness, our mindfulness, something changes. As the fear returns to the deeper levels of consciousness, it becomes a little weaker — less capable of overwhelming us. At the same time, our mindfulness becomes stronger. We become more capable of recognising fear when it arises, and more capable of embracing it and helping it to transform.

Recognising, accepting, and embracing always come before transformation. Fear is an essential part of non-fear. It is in recognising the presence of fear that we can actively create the conditions necessary to experience non-fear. If we continue to practise in this way, gradually the seed of fear in us grows weaker and we move steadily in the direction of non-fear.

So we can see that we don’t have to get rid of fear completely before non-fear is available. Non-fear is already present when we recognise fear, care for it tenderly, and allow it to settle.

For me, as a practice, when I see the kinds of thoughts that tell me fear is present, I can use them as a bell of mindfulness. I can stop for a moment and gently move my awareness back to my breathing. I can then come back to my body—knowing that mind and body are linked—and I can see if I am able to feel how that fear is manifesting in my body, look for areas of tension, and allow myself to relax. I’m not trying to get rid of the fear; I’m stopping the kind of thinking that is fuelling that fear and creating inner space. Mindfulness isn’t getting rid of anything; it’s creating space for everything. Very naturally, when I do this, without any striving, the fear calms down and non-fear can be experienced, can be enjoyed. And in that freedom, I can see what wise action I would like to take to improve the situation. Dear friends, I hope that this sharing can inspire us all to take more care of our fear, knowing that as we take care of our individual fear, we are at the same time taking care of the fear that is present in the world.